You exchanged vows with the one you can’t live without. You
danced until your feet hurt and then danced some more at the reception you
spent months years planning. You had the wedding of your dreams. You
went on a picture-perfect honeymoon with the man of your dreams. You have
written (and mailed) personal, thoughtful thank you notes for those who sent
gifts and for those who helped to make your wedding a smashing success.
After all of that, life goes on like normal! Who knew?!?
Upon returning to work or to ordinary life, you realize that just because your
world just changed dramatically, not much else has, and that’s kind of a
downer. But hey, that’s a fact of life! And the good news is, at the end of the
day, you are spending it with the one you love – and that, my friend, is what
is truly special.
Now for those who choose to change their name*, this is
where the frustration may start back up again. I know I had MANY questions when
it came to taking my husband’s name. There are LOTS of hoops to jump through,
but hang in there! It is so worth it
in the end.
*Once we got closer to our wedding, I started to get
possessive over my last name. I didn’t want to give it up. I mean, why should I
have to lose my identity? I told my (future) husband about my feelings about changing
something that had defined me for my entire life. He smiled, gave me a squeeze,
and reassured me that a name change does not mean an identify change and that he
would still let me be my fun, unique-self even if I take his name. His love and support helped reaffirm that I wanted to share his name and I have no regrets!
Many websites direct you to the quickest and easiest way to
change your name after you get married. I found some of them helpful, but still
found myself struggling here and there. I pulled information from some
recently-married (and super awesome!) women and started from there. Here’s what
I came up with. If anyone has other tips or found something I missed, feel free
to post below or message me so I can update this list!
Name Change Instructions
Remember when you had to go to the court house within 60
days of your wedding (and how EASY that was)? And how you had to drop off that
paperwork to the church (or other responsible party) prior to your wedding?
Yeah, that’s important. The church does their paperwork and mails the marriage
license back into the county where they process your license. Then, they mail
it out to you in a few weeks. That’s where you get your certified marriage
license (the one with the pretty colors and the raised seal).
So, before you can complete ANY of these steps, you must
have your marriage license with the raised seal on it. Ours was waiting for us
when we returned from our honeymoon, so I got a jump on changing my name right
away! (Note: we ordered two when we went
in to the courthouse. It costs less to get a second one right away than it is
to order a replacement at a later date.)
Follow these steps in order and you should be set!
1.
Social
Security Office – This has to be your FIRST visit to make everything
happen. Visit their website
for FULL details and follow them exactly, it will help reduce the frustration! Here’s
what you need to be successful at your first stop:
a.
Locate the closest office (use this site, punch in your zip and you’re
all set)
b.
Bring a copy of your:
i.
Social Security Card
ii.
Marriage License
iii.
Driver’s License
iv.
Current Passport
c.
Show up early! (I got there 35 minutes before
the doors opened and was still about 30 people deep in line – ON A TUESDAY!)
d.
Wait 2-3 weeks for your new card to arrive in
the mail (mine came in 2)
2.
Driver’s
License/Registration – Gotta love the DMV! Just like any government process, be prepared
with documents or be prepared to go home and repeat the process!
a.
Locate the closest office
b.
Bring a copy of your:
i.
New Social Security Card – you have to physically
bring it. A copy of the receipt at the SS office doesn’t count!
ii.
Driver’s License
iii.
Marriage License
c.
If you want to update your address at the same
time:
i.
Two (2) forms of mail with your name and address
on them
ii.
They prefer utility bills (Fun fact: he almost
didn’t take my voter registration mail and the envelope that had my marriage
license in it even though both were from the government!)
d.
Cash – I think it cost me $5?
e.
Be pretty – they take your picture again since
they need to reprint the license
f.
Show up early! (I got there 25 minutes early and
was about 40 people deep in line on a Friday – but was out of there in about 20
minutes.)
3.
The
Bank(s) – Hopefully you and your spouse of discussed money already so you
know how the accounts will work going forward. Once you settle that, it’s time
to update your bank accounts and credit cards.
a.
Stop in at your local bank and bring with you:
i.
Marriage license
ii.
Your spouse – they need to sign papers so you
can have access to their account and vice versa
b.
Update checks with your new name (I haven’t done
that yet because I’m too cheap to buy new checks! Whoops!)
c.
Don’t forget about online savings, like a
personal investing site. Each one has their guidelines to follow. When in
doubt, I called customer service and they helped out.
4.
Passport
– I was pretty frustrated with this one at first. See, mine expired in January,
so I had to renew it then, and now need to renew it after getting married in
April, so I figured I’d need to pay the $110 again. Good news though! If you
have renewed your passport in the last year, there’s no fee unless you need
expedited shipping! Score! Follow
their website to update your name – it’s pretty easy to understand.
5.
Online
Accounts – Basically anywhere you have your credit card or shipping address
on file. That was a tough one to catch them all (and I’m sure I missed a few)
but you know where you store that information, so chip away at updating those
as soon as possible.
6.
Work
Information – This can happen at anytime
a.
Contact your IT person to have your:
i.
Email address changed
ii.
Business cards updated
iii.
Office name plaque changed
b.
Other work-related items – Contact HR to update:
i.
Benefits – i.e. adding spouse to benefits,
joining spouse’s insurance, etc. Don’t forget about life insurance!
ii.
Beneficiaries – I don’t know about you, but
prior to marriage, I had my parents listed as my primary beneficiaries!
iii.
Update your security badge (getting in and out
of buildings)
7.
Online
Presence –Probably by now, you have updated your status to “married” and
received countless “likes” to the update, but there’s more than just a “fun”
update here.
a.
LinkedIn – Keep that current with the correct
name. It will put your maiden name in parentheses so old contacts will still
recognize you.
b.
Professional Organizations – Staying current
leaves a good impression
c.
Email address – Nerd alert: I created my new Gmail account with my new name a week
after he proposed, but waited until after the wedding to make it active and ‘deactivate’
my old email account.
If I missed any, let me know and I’ll add it to the list. To
the best of my (recent) memory, this is how it all went down!
Congratulations to everyone out there who is taking on a new
name and with the one they love! Best wishes!
Update 7/30/14 - A few other places I learned (the hard way) that need the name change update:
- 401k/Roth/Investment accounts
- Frequent Flier Miles accounts
- Library card
- Email address account (so when you send an email, the name in parenthesis is correct)
- The vet - is your fur baby under your maiden name? Make him/her part of the new family!
